To the Stars
by mayfever
Summary: The car scene. Rose's POV. Nothing more to say.


Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything belongs to Jim Cameron and 20th Century Fox. Unfortunately.

Rose breathed in and out deeply. She looked around in the car, checking her reflection in the windows. She looked all right, she thought. Good even. For a moment, she wondered when it had been the last time that she had actually thought of herself that way, but couldn't remember. She knew that others thought she was beautiful, she had long learned to take advantage of that fact, but it was just that she had never thought so herself.

"Where to, Miss?"

The honking of the car's horn and the playful act of Jack's fake British accent brought her back to reality. His voice sounded so happy, but his smile froze when she grabbed his arms and whispered in his ear: "To the stars…"

Before he could react, she had pulled him over the seat in the back of the car, hugging him close to her when he landed half on top of her. She pulled at the lining of his coat and felt his arm around her. Her hand closed around his, softly caressing it. For a while, they just looked at each other wonderingly, as if they couldn't believe that the other was real.

Which, as a matter of fact, was half true for Rose. She sometimes did have difficulty believing that she was really there, lying in Jack's arms, holding him in hers. Had it really been only hours ago that she had had tea with her mother, seeing the small girl, making her decision? It felt like so much longer. A decade, a century, a lifetime… being here felt so right.

She could feel his eyes on her, his smile fading slowly and hers imitating it. Suddenly they both knew. This was the moment of truth…

"Are you nervous?" Jack's voice was only half above a whisper, inches from cracking. He watched her closely, his green eyes penetrating her soul. Her breath quickened.

Am I? she wondered quietly. Yes I am. No I'm not. I don't know. But it's you Jack, and I know what I want. I want you to touch me. I want you to make this real.

"No", she said. Her whole body was trembling in apprehension, which at least partly exposed this as a lie. But then again – this was Jack. He would never do anything to hurt her, or ask her to do something she wasn't yet ready to. His hesitation confirmed this once again, so she shook her head more firmly and took his hand. Kissing his artist's fingers, she whispered hoarsely: "Put your hands on me, Jack…" Gently, she guided his hand towards her breasts and felt, rather than heard his breath catch in his throat. A wave of pleasure hit her. I'm the one who is doing this to him, she thought. If I can provoke a reaction like that, what else can I do?

The mere thought made her feel positively wicked. Even though she had already had some physical experience with Cal, she had never gone all the way with him yet – and never would, she now knew. Cal had been more than eager, but eventually he had – grudgingly, mind - accepted her standards. She had never actually said it, but he had somehow fathomed that she wanted to wait until the wedding night for religious reasons, and he had never left her the benefit of doubt about how much he was looking forward to it. Likewise, she had dreaded this night more than anything else ever before.

How different it was with Jack now. Again and again, she was incredulous at how hard she was finding it to be separated from him only for the shortest moment. The minute his hand left hers, she felt cold, lonely, bereft… but now he was in her arms, and she was in his, and she was sliding down in the seat under his welcome weight while their kiss was growing more and more passionate by the second. She felt a pleasure ripple through her body that was difficult to place… she knew that this wasn't enough, that she wanted more… but then again, how could this not be enough? It was already more than she had ever dared to think about. Her lips were already swollen and almost hurting, but she couldn't get enough of his kisses.

Jack's hands suddenly seemed to be everywhere, and for a moment, this frightened her. What did he expect of her? She opened her eyes and found him looking intently in her face. His pupils where so dilated that his normally green eyes were almost black. This shows how much he wants me, she thought again, but a little less certain this time. Sure, he had seen her naked before, only two hours ago, but it had been with an artist's eye, somewhat professional even if he hadn't been able to keep every hint of lust banished from his expression. There was nothing left of the artist in his demeanour now, he was all man and she was suddenly utterly afraid. He mustn't know, she thought immediately. It's just nerves; it will be better any minute…

"Ssshh, Rose." His tender voice brought her back to him. "It's alright… we don't have to go further if you don't want to." All the while he was stroking her face ever so gently, and a look into his eyes told Rose that he wasn't merely saying this. He actually meant it.

"I…" She was struggling for words. She had never voiced anything about a topic like that before, and had never thought that she would one day be in a situation where she had to. It was incredibly hard, but the sight of Jack's caring face would permit her no lie or excuse. "Jack, I… it's not… I do want it." She was now blushing furiously. "It's just… I don't know how…"

"Ssshh", he said again, leaning his forehead against hers. He shrugged off his coat and placed it underneath her body. The topmost button of his white shirt was missing so that it was gaping open and she could see the smooth golden skin underneath. Suddenly, she wanted to touch it very much, and she placed her hand on his neck to draw him towards her. His lips met hers again in a kiss, but now it was her guiding him, her hands roaming his body, tugging his shirt out of his trousers… Tentatively, she let them travel under the rough fabric, discovering delicate skin over taut flesh underneath. Every time he went rigid when she had found another secret spot, her confidence grew, until she even dared to let her hand wander beneath the waistband of his trousers. And abruptly, all caution was gone and she tore at his shirt until it went over his head, and she couldn't wait for him to fumble with the fastening of her dress, so she opened it herself while he was stepping out of his trousers…

Never before had Rose acknowledged how beautiful a male body could be. Again and again, her eyes travelled across Jack's lithe frame, taking in every square inch of it, trying to burn it onto her retina so that she would never forget how handsome he looked in the dim light. She was half aware that he was staring at her in much the same way. Wondering, half-incredulous looks, as if he didn't dare trust his eyes that this woman, beautiful beyond measure, was really his and his alone.

He kissed her again. He traced tiny, fluttery, butterfly kisses on her neck, her earlobes, her hairline, her stomach and the insides of her thighs until she was shivering in his arms, craving for something she didn't know and yet, she now knew, naturally belonged to her. She clung to him helplessly, torn between wanting him to continue forever and impatience for him to move further. Eventually she took his head into her hands, but found that her voice had disappeared. She stared at him pleadingly, and naturally, he understood.

"Are you ready?" he asked in a voice so husky that she would have had difficulty discerning the raspy sound in any other situation. Now, she instinctively knew and nodded, her voice still failing her.

So he pressed his lips on hers again, and while he was kissing her, he reached between their bodies and brought himself in front of her entrance. She felt pressure, but not much else at first—

And then her eyes flew open. It hurt. It hurt much more than she had expected it would, and she suddenly knew she couldn't take it. Jack's eyes were tightly shut; he was obviously trying to be as gentle as possible, and yet she felt as if her body was being ripped apart… she closed her eyes, trying to relax, but her whole body was clenched with pain…

"Oh God, I'm sorry, Rose, I'm so sorry!" He was with her again, stroking, kissing, soothing. "I'm sorry…" The pain and the pressure had stopped, but her heart was still racing and he was cradling her in his arms. Shocked, she realised that a tear was running down the side of her face. "Does… does it always hurt?" she asked, her voice trembling. He continued to stroke her hair and she already felt her body relax.

"Only the first time, I think…" he whispered. "It's supposed to get better afterwards. But I won't do it again, Rose, I promise… there's no way I'll hurt you, no way…" He trailed off. But her thoughts had already raced on. Only the first time… well, maybe she could handle that. She had noticed how carried away he had got, and how much he seemed to want this… and, minutes ago, so had she…

"I'm alright." She succeeded in producing a shaky smile. "We can try again… I'm sorry. I know so little…"

But he cut her off. "No, Rose, it's really okay. You don't have to do it. You don't have to do anything. Really, holding you here, I'll be just as happy."

Now she laughed. "Jack… I'm really alright. Please. I want this. You must believe me… I can take it, I promise."

He looked at her, wondering for the millionth time about what a hardy little creature she actually was. Considering her upbringing, she really was made of sterner stuff than most of the folks in steerage…

So he tried again. He didn't close his eyes this time but looked into her face intently, trying to discern signs of pain or discomfort. But she held his gaze steadily, encouraging him… and this time, she was prepared and flinched only slightly when he pressed himself into her for the second time. And when she felt herself finally opening up and he slid into her, it actually _was _more than she could take. The pain she had been feeling at first was now quickly subsiding, and just as quickly it was being replaced by a sensation different from anything Rose had ever experienced before. But instinctively she knew that it was the answer to everything she wanted…

Jack was breathing heavily now, and she realised that he was still holding himself back with all his might, because he was still afraid to hurt her. She took his head into her hands.

"You're okay, Jack… Don't hold back", she whispered.

He smiled with visible effort. "You sure?"

She nodded, anxious to reassure him. And when he started to move in her, and she moved against him, she was almost swept away by the huge wave of pleasure that suddenly gripped her…they had reached the stars.


End file.
